Too long since I last wrote.
Good news: I have registered a domain name — phydeaux-deauxmayne.net — which should be alive this week. That oughta make it easier to get to, easier to remember, and make my IP changes transparent. Bookmarking is now a real possibility!
Bad news: I am on Suck Creek Mountain. Usually, that would be good news, but this trip has dark forebodings associated with it.
Roaul and Dad are both quite ill.
How ill? Well, Mom believes Roaul only has a few months of life left to him. He has been getting progressively sicker, and my understanding is that his liver is gone, and his kidneys and esophagus are now involved. Merilyn says it’s not cancer, but it sure sounds like it. His mind is slipping as he goes through this, and that is painful to bear. Another brilliant mind that seems to be darkening far, far too early — just like Larry Buhrman.
[Sidenote: Larry missed out on all the web revolution, dot-bombs and other fantastic things that have happened since he succumbed to cancer in ’84 or ’85. I can’t imagine what amazing things he would’ve done, and I might’ve learned, during that time. He’s the reason I’m in the computer field. Around 1977, he set me up with a Lear Siegler ADM3A terminal and an acoustic coupler he and Dad built, and showed me how to get UTC’s HP-2000 to teach me BASIC. I’m sure there’s not too many folks who remember Larry now, twenty years down the road, but I do.]
The hardest pain to bear though, is the latest prognosis on Dad’s fight with cancer. Dad has lived through throat cancer several years ago, and last year’s serious bout with lung cancer and a quintuple bypass surgery. Now, though, the lung cancer is back, and with a vengance. I am told that surgery is not an option, he’s had all the radiation therapy he can have, and that chemo would just make him sick and miserable.
I found out about this from Mom this past Tuesday, and cried in Darla’s arms most of the night. Wednesday found me with more strength, and I started making plans to come down here to visit, and to bring Sio to see Grandpa while he was still feeling well.
Every one of us seems to have this “matter of fact” attitude about it — talking of wills and burial, items to take from the house, future plans for things to go to Kevio or me — and it just seems wrong to be talking like this. After all, Dad doesn’t look sick, right? So there mustn’t be anything wrong….
Unfortunately, though, there is something quiet and creeping wrong with him, and no amount of my wailing can do anything about it. Perhaps each of us has gone through our own bit of wailing and screaming, and each come to terms with this abbreviated time we have with Dad.
As for me, I’m gonna learn all I can from the smartest person I know while he’s still walking this planet, and try my best to do whatever he needs whenever he needs it.
My biggest chore is to ask after his salvation. I have no idea if he or Mom are Christians or not. You’d think I would know something as vital as that, but I don’t. Almost twenty years of me putting my fate in Jesus’ hands have had me wondering and feeling…. shy, perhaps, about asking after this with them. Somehow, though, during this trip, I’ve got to talk with Dad about this. I don’t know if I’ll get another chance to talk with him about this. Darla and I had a good cry about this on the back porch last night…….